What to Do When Your Doctor Won't Listen to You
Georgia has the worst maternal mortality rate in the United States, and a higher pregnancy-related death rate than that of 100 other countries. The reason for this is no mystery: doctors do not listen to women, disregard their feelings, treat them as hysterical, rely on racist myths, or recommend medical interventions that increase the risk of dying. Medical gaslighting is real, and potentially deadly. Medical errors are the third-leading cause of death in the United States. If your doctor refuses to listen to you, you must treat it as a life-threatening emergency because it may be. Here’s what to do when your provider will not listen to you.
Record Everything
As soon as you sense a problem with the provider, begin documenting everything. If you end up injured or otherwise need to prove that the doctor acted badly, your recording may be your only piece of evidence. Georgia is a one-party recording state, which means you can audio-record conversations you are a part of. You can’t video-record without permission, or leave an audio recording device in an unattended room. Visit our Record Your Birth page to learn more about the rules governing audio recordings of medical providers.
Remain Calm
You should be able to act however you want and get quality medical treatment. But unfortunately, the more agitated you become, the more likely a doctor is to dismiss your legitimate needs. Remain as calm as possible. Being calm can also help you if someone else later listens to the recording, since you will sound more reasonable. Follow these tips:
Avoid long-winded explanations and arguments. Stick to one or two sentences at a time.
Be specific about what you want from the doctor.
Be polite, if you can. It’s not fair that we have to be friendly to people who hurt us, but doing so can make you look more reasonable to witnesses.
Repeat the Dispute to the Doctor
It’s important to verbalize, in succinct and specific language, the nature of your dispute. Not only does this call the doctor’s attention to the problem using plain language; it may also clear up miscommunications. Ask the doctor to affirm whether your understanding of the dispute is accurate. Some examples of language you might use include:
“Doctor, I’m telling you I don’t consent to this procedure and you’re telling me you intend to force me into it. Is that correct?”
“Doctor, I requested that you perform x test, and you’re telling me you won’t. Is that correct?”
“Doctor, I’m telling you about x, y, and z symptoms that are consistent with an emergency. Can you tell me why you are refusing to do x, y, and z?”
Ask the Doctor to Memorialize any Requests You Make in Your Chart
When a doctor won’t listen to you, especially if they refuse to give you treatment you need, one of the most powerful things you can do is ask them to memorialize the dispute in your chart. This forces them to slow down and think about what they’re doing. It creates a record, and forces them to justify their behavior. Try something like this: “Doctor, I’ve asked you do do x, and you’re refusing. I’m concerned about how this might affect my health, and want to ensure there is a record of it in case something goes wrong. Could you please make a note of your refusal in my chart now?”
Switch Providers
You can fight with your provider. You can complain. You can hire a lawyer. You can go after their medical license. But ultimately, advocacy will not save you from a doctor who is giving you substandard care. You can’t diagnose and treat yourself, but that’s exactly what you’ll have to do if your doctor refuses to offer quality care. Do whatever you can to get away from a doctor who ignores your needs. If you’re pregnant, switch providers. If you’re in the hospital, ask for a different doctor or nurse. The fastest route to better care is a better provider.
Give Feedback
Once you’re out of the care of a bad provider, it is critical to take steps to protect other people. This begins with giving feedback to the provider, or the institution where they work. If the doctor works at a hospital where you sought care, contact the patient advocacy office to share your experience. Leave reviews online. Tell others about your experiences. If they are bad enough, it may even be appropriate to file a complaint with the medical board.
Visit our File a Complaint page to learn more about filing a complaint against a bad provider.